Lowered Expectations : by Carrigan Propes

First off, to let everyone know, I am not what you call a “tech savvy” kind of guy. I am a rare breed of human being that doesn’t have a cell phone permanently attached to the side of my cranium, nor due I drool over the latest in Ipod technology or revel in the myriad of pointless gadgets that are supposed to make life easier. (I am waiting for a personal air conditioned super suit. CP) I am however, a console gamer. A gamer that like many people, cautiously follows the tech savvy gurus of gamedom, critically analyzing the pros and cons of each new console system. I was there for the demise of the Sega Master System, and subsequent monopoly by Nintendo over the aging Atari systems. Yes, these were years that would forever shape console gaming as a whole.

The Sort of Past Now…

Fast forward to 2001-2005, only one familiar name from that era still stands, crippled maybe, but still standing none the less. Nintendo has always been a staple system in my arsenal up until the Gamecube. It seems that this company is desperately trying to constantly reinvent itself with each new console, while redundantly putting it’s mid 80’s trademark characters in seemingly new and exciting situations. The result: a company that not only can’t come up with much new content, but one that rapes our once fond memories of classic characters. It also results in a console that is decidedly crippled when it comes to multitasking. The fact that the Gamecube couldn’t play DVD’s, CD’s or wash my clothes, (a proposed PS3 feature) made it a hard sell for most people. Haphazard renditions of classic characters in games involving Donkey Kong and Mario, made my stomach turn. It seems like ol’ plumber boy has a hard time finding good work these days.

Sony (the metaphoric Godzilla), has all up until this point, claimed the throne as the console king. With only the release of 2 systems and 1 portable, they continue to swath a path of electronic monopolizing destruction that has no equal. Playstation 2 is now the equivalent to Alexander the Great in the console world. Don’t believe me, then ask yourself this; How many people do you know that have one? While boasting the ability to play DVDs and CD’s, the system was soon technologically outmatched by competing companies. This didn’t hinder them from continuing to try and beat a necrotic horse carcass with sub par sequels to games that had made the system famous..

Enter Microsoft, the once feared conqueror of computer free commerce, delve it’s greedy paw into the console world with the X-Box. While having a bumpy road at first, with much worldwide hatred for the monopoly of which Microsoft held with it’s firm grasp, the console soon gained followers. This slow progression, a cancer, for which I am also cursed with, was all do to a game that had no past, but oh so much future. That game was Halo , a game that changed a large demographic of gamers forever. Riding on the coat-tails of Halo, Microsoft released several titles, all claiming to be the next Halo. (remember Brute Force). With the online age of X-Box Live at hand, and sequels like Halo 2, Microsoft has slowly challenged the rule of the Playstation empire.

The VERY Now…

It seems as though Nintendo has finally lost their minds. Satoru Iwata, President of Nintendo has gamers a little confused with invalids and disturbed children that have to wear mittens. Don’t get me wrong, I love mittens, but I don’t like the Wii. He has stated that the console is going to be the most inviting and inclusive console to date. He has also stated in past interviews that he believes in turning the videogame console back into it’s original purpose,…..to be a game. Well, I can see the logic in that. But that doesn’t really help the Wii sound any better to me. It will be the least powerful system of the new consoles, although more than likely more durable. It also has the most radically designed controller for the new consoles. My sources tell me Nintendo got the idea from tying a TV remote to a woman’s electric shaver. They say that it will revolutionize gaming with the ability to actually flail your arms around like an idiot, breaking things in your friend’s house, just to play a game of simulated tennis. Why this is more appealing that actually playing real tennis is beyond me. Sword fighting on the Wii sounds like it might be interesting, or just cruel to those of us who are physically challenged. And finally, I have to gripe about the name. Why didn’t they stick with Revolution….they use that word every sentence on the official site. It might as well be called, “Look at me, I’m a small boy wearing a dress, please beat me up and steal my lunch money!”. I e-mailed them that idea, but got no response. Ok, so we have a system that is not as powerful, has a goofy name, has a controller that is a potential threat to the elderly or small children, and looks amazingly like a nutritionally deficient X-Box 360. It’s only hope is to sell small children dressed like Link along with the system to entertain you after the arm flailing Wii brand of gaming grows stale.

Sony realizes they will be successful no mater what kind of console they put out. You could put the Sony brand on an electric anal thermometer and it would be the new rage. The PS3 is going to be cool. Period. You might have to sell some organs to get one, but who needs a spleen really? They have a downgraded version also, but the difference is 80-20GB….I’d stick with the 80GB thanks. Also, Sony seems pretty confident Blu-ray is going to take off. I’m skeptical it will last. Remember Nintendo’s mini-disc, and how those were going to revolutionize media? Sony will no doubt bring a capable system to the table, but the fact they are going for a total entertainment console, the anti-Wii, scares me. We as a society already are too preoccupied with the convenience of choice. Today I went into a KFC/Pizza Hut/Taco Bell. Although it’s nice to have the option of doing multiple things on one machine, it also might lose some flavor in the translation. My pizza was pre-made and was nicely heat-lamped to an almost inedible state. See what I mean. Although millions of people will claw and steal and donate blood in an attempt to obtain this ominous “Master Machine”, I will not be in line. I still can’t figure out my toaster oven, and it only does one thing.

Now back to good ol’ Microsoft. This, being the only system out, has at least proven it will turn on when asked,….most of the time. X-Box 360 is the name for what Microsoft decided to unleash upon it’s console competitors. And 360 is a fitting name, as it denotes ending up right where you started. Plagued by numerous glitches and hard drive freezing goodness, the 360 has defiantly started out on a familiar foot. I was personally excited about this particular console. The line up of games was intriguing and the quality of the games seemed phenomenal. I think the 360 has one unique aspect that will continue to pump life into it’s dangerously negative image. X-Box Live. Yes, here millions of whiny kids can scream obscenities at you from across the world. With this unique online community, you can enjoy all the benefits of being electronically linked to complete strangers. This makes games like Halo 2 very satisfying, as you can actually shoot the person talking trash. With the confirmation that Halo 3 will be a 360 exclusive, Microsoft has once again ensured their ability to make everyone buy one. I might, we’ll see.

In conclusion, I sit back in my old sofa, turn on my Nintendo 64, and put in Golden Eye. I don’t have to worry about a system crash and losing all of my music, downloads, and naked pictures of myself, nor do I have the temptation to take my cartridge out and try to watch a movie on it. Even though I have to put up with characters that look like they are made out of Legos, there is a warm familiar feeling there.

Where will the future of console gaming leave us? My thoughts are up a “Battle Creek”(Halo) without a paddle.

Special Guest Writer

Morning folks,

This week I would like to introduce a new feature to this humble site. Each week I will try to bring in a special guest writer to offer some fresh perspectives from different facets of the industry.

Some will be developers, some will be fans, and others might be programmers or marketing personnel. Each will offer their own unique and unfiltered opinions on the subjects they hold dear to their heart.

Our very first guest writer is a personal friend of mine, and an up and coming comic book writer. This week he will discuss the timely topic, Lowered Expectations. I look forward to bringing you future iterations of this weekly special, and I hope you enjoy the material.

Please feel free to discuss your recations in the comments, as the writer will be reading and possibly responding to your thoughts.

Forecast

It’s Friday and I want to express my gratitude for the overwhelmingly positive response to the blog. Next week I’m hoping to provide some extra content in the form of guest writers. I think you’ll enjoy that quite a bit. If you don't, well perhaps you will enjoy a healthy punch to the FACE.

There are quite a few huge releases on the horizon yet oddly enough, there are really no solid release dates for any of them. A few examples are the release dates for the Playstion 3, The Nintendo Wii, Gears of War, Mass Effect, Splinter Cell Double Agent, Crackdown, and Forza 2. At this time all of them are ambiguously listed as Fall 2006 or Winter 2006 releases and no further. This isn’t particularly a bad thing however as nailing down a release date is particularly ire inspiring when the company inevitably decides to change it (*cough* Nintendo…). At the same time it should be interesting to see which releases get the bump to 2007. That ship it seems is already beginning to sink.

So what are you going to play this holiday season? Will you perhaps pick up a $600 Playstation 3? Perhaps spend some time snapping necks in the newest Splinter Cell? You might not know at this point, but that’s ok…. neither does Microsoft, Sony, or Nintendo.

Desperate

I’m sure many of you watched the pre-vis released by Lucas Arts over the last few days, if not check it out here.

The above link also takes you to an interview, ign conducted with the man behind the pre-vis, a few choice excerpts:

IGN: The Pre-vis video hints at a lot of really cool gameplay opportunities. Was that technology created as a result of what you wanted to be able to do in a Star Wars game, or did the game come out of the technology afterward?

Haden Blackman: The technology absolutely came out of what we wanted to achieve. We created that pre-vis awhile ago and it was meant to do several things: to inspire the team and to be able to wrap our heads around the core gameplay concepts that we wanted to explore within the Star Wars mythos. It was something that we showed internally to build excitement, not only to the team, but also to Jim Ward our president and Peter Hirschman the VP of development. Ultimately, we showed it to George Lucas as well.

Once everybody approved the direction we were headed with the force, then we... well, we had an, "Oh Crap" moment. The reason was because we had made such an exciting pre-vis video that we weren't quite sure how to make it a game. At the time, we didn't have the technology or tools to be able to build that game. We spent the many, many months afterward working on our technology base so that we could build that game. Things like our biomechanical AI that we worked on with NaturalMotion and Pixelux's Digital Molecular Matter are things we've invested in to realize that use of the Force.

IGN: Since we're on the subject of the story, are the characters and situations shown in the pre-vis representative of actual characters and locations in a future game, or is this setting for demo purposes only?

Blackman: The characters and locations are not necessarily indicative of our current direction. They're just placeholder.

The situations are again meant to solidify the concept of the Force unleashed. We fully expect you'll be doing everything shown in the pre-vis and more.

Ok, are you still with me? Are you hyped yet? Well you shouldn’t be. What we have here is a “target” video, of what the developers want to achieve. Not what they were able to do with the tools they created after they made this video, not actual working gameplay mechanics or charcters, not even a shred of evidence that this is remotely possible. Yes ladies and gentlemen what we have is exactly what we had before, our wild imaginations. Game companies are resorting to attempting to incite hype through teasing their customers imaginations. In some way’s it reminds me of the hamburger commercials for fast food chains such as McDonalds. Mouth watering images of a perfectly cooked and well girthed cheeseburger constructed with care and concern made just for you! The reality is dismal at best:

Lucas arts is not the first company to do this, or even the worst offender. I’ve picked on EA long enough so I’ll switch gears to one of my favorite publishers, who is guilty of the same tactic (scam?). Before the Xbox 360 launch, a few video’s caught my eye and really sold me on the system, one of which was Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter. The video looked like in game footage, and it sure was pretty! The animation was flawless, and I heralded it as the future of gaming! Imagine my surprise when the hands on previews were, less than glowing. As it turns out, that amazing early footage was a “target” video aka a pre-vis. Awesome-town. Although the game did turn out alright,visually it never quite lived up to it’s initial showing. It’s an old tactic really, the bait and switch, but it’s only a matter of time before customers will recognize what’s going on. Budgets for videogames are not going down, and marketing guru’s still have a job to do on limited time, regardless isn’t it high time the industry stopped trying to cook an egg before it’s hatched?

Where's the meat?

Neatly placed in front of you are two items. On the left is a neatly arranged stack of 10 dollar bills amounting to 70 dollars. To your right is a new copy of EA’s newest sports title on the Xbox 360. Sure it’s missing a few features from the Xbox and PS2 features, and there are a few bugs in there that they will most likely never fix, but hey it’s new game right? You can have one of the items, which do you choose?

The split decision breakfast which has been served up by increased pricing for videogames has forced many gamers to think about what exactly they will spend their hard earned cash on, especially if the multi-platform title has significantly less features than it’s other counter parts. Is this what the next generation has in store for us, increased eye candy at the expense of standard options? It’s the equivalent of buying a new model Mercedes without air conditioning.

Personally speaking, I find Blockbuster my best friend these days, whereas I used to buy a game or two a month, I can’t rationalize spending seventy dollars after tax on anything less than a AAA game. It doesn’t help thing’s that a large majority of the new titles are sequels featuring marginally updated graphics as well as a healthy sampling of sloppy code leading to glitches and bugs. Is that where my extra 10 dollars is going? I’ll save my money and buy a steak, at least I’m guaranteed it will come with the same amount of meat as last time.

Consoles should not crash

The relationship I have with my Xbox 360, is that of a battered wife. I buy games for him, make sure he's connected at all times, and even gave him a big hard drive to put all his stuff in. Still, every now and then he gets all pissed off at me for NO reason and refuses to work, he'll just sit there frozen refusing to help me. I'm just waiting for the day he finally decides to throw acid in my face and be done with it.

Last night I tried to play my 360, but I could not because the infernal machine refuses to perform normal operating procedures due to glitches, bugs, and gremlins in the system. Granted not all of these quirks are the hardware’s fault. Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter (who comes up with these names?) has the nasty habit of refusing to go back to the dashboard unless you fully exit from the multiplayer menu's back to the main title screen, otherwise you are greeted with a friendly black screen that refuses to disappear. PGR3 had a nasty bug that froze the game if you tried to view any of your opponents gamer card. Lovely.

Thing's have become so complex that it has allowed room for lots of quirky problems that can frustrate gamers. The best part is, despite all of the additions they've made to the hardware to make it more functional, they removed arguably the most used feature of all past iterations, the reset button.

Web of lies

Are you sick of being lied too yet? I can't read previews anymore without rolling my eyes into the back of my head and seeing if my brain has melted yet. Marketing guru's have taken over the gaming free press, ravenously devouring every shred of truth that seeks to eek forth from the cavern of lies they've created. Journalistic integrity dissipitates with every utterance I hear of the next EA game promising"amazing AI!". Here at straight up gaming, we (and by we, I of course mean "I") are not going to put up with that crap. You are going to get the straight up truth about the games we preview, and review. No BS, no lies, no fluff. Just pure unadulterated gaming purity. It's high time we got off the marketing bus, and started talking some straight up gaming.